I’ll admit it – we did break up in January. We tried to keep it quiet and just tiptoed away from each other. People noticed, for sure. Requests for readings with astrology, were met with a retired sigh and a ‘I’m not doing this at the moment, thank you’. We were suddenly not a good fit for each other.
This wasn’t the first time either. We almost never made it together at all. When I first drew up my own birthchart, 28 years ago, I was confronted with a personality that I did not recognise at all. It was off, it wasn’t me. Hours later my mother realised that she had given me my sister’s time of birth. My birthchart rectified and it all made sense, there was a fit. That’s when astrology and I began to date.
But this recent break came at a time when I was at my lowest. It followed an event so personally dramatic to me, that I wished I could have predicted it and didn’t. I felt that astrology had failed me, when in fact I must have failed it – I must have somehow missed something. Flailing and not ready to admit defeat, I re-checked everything. What had I missed? I fell into an astrological abyss and lost myself for a short while, trying to find a way to justify my continued trust in astrology. I couldn’t.
Months passed by and people would ask me about Mercury retrograde or the next full Moon and I realised that I had no idea at all where the planets currently were. I wasn’t paying attention. And without my eye on the planets, I wasn’t feeling the need to think too much about what everything meant. I was beginning to simply let it all be and for destiny to let itself unfold.
It’s quite freeing when you give yourself the chance to drop an identity that you’ve dressed yourself in for so long. I noticed that my language was changing. There seemed more opportunity to change my mind – possibly because I wasn’t harassing myself as to what ought to be happening astrologically. I was losing my astrologer’s mindset.
And then it came. Someone else’s cry for help and I realised that my relationship with astrology, should never have been about me. I mean sure, if you can interpret the stars, why wouldn’t you? But in the cold light of day, how can you know for sure that you’re not reading what you want to see? I realised, it is not astrology’s job to make me happy or to give me all my answers. It’s a tool to help others, a way to illustrate new pathways and openings within complex problems. It is best applied to those who need it and ask for it.
And that was how astrology and I went back into couples counselling…
And as you might expect, there were some funny astrological coincidences, where I bumped in to clients, where friends of friends passed on my details and little reminders of how much fun astrology and I had had together. The universe does that, doesn’t it? Its way of showing you where the flow is and where you might want to re-direct. Yep – astrology and I are giving it another go. With a fresh focus, we’re taking small steps forward together…